Hear, my son, and accept my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. 

                                                                                                Proverbs 4:10-11 

Today: Read Proverbs 4

Our entire chapter today deals with the same theme: a father’s plea to his son to follow in his instructions. Our title reflects the reality that often and tragically, the spiritual instruction of the children is left to the mothers. So whether you are raising children alone or have a like-minded spouse, consider the truths found in today’s passage.

I believe that it is worth noting that Solomon’s father was King David. If you are familiar with his life you know that he is often considered, “a man after God’s own heart.” David was hand selected by God and saw the Lord do mighty things in and through his life (none of the least was his defeat of the Philistine Goliath). He followed God all of the days of his life and Paul even speaks of him when stating that he, “fulfilled the purpose of God in his own generation” (Acts 13:36). But despite all of these facts, David also had his failures. He was an adulterer and a murderer (2 Samuel 11-12). The reason for bringing this up is to point to the reality that God can work even through the shortcomings and failures that we see in all of our families. David, although a sinner, raised a son who is now writing instructions for his son. This father’s plea to his son is threefold.

First, he encourages him to accept his sayings. Having spent twenty-five years as a public educator, I find it interesting to track the progress of students as they move through the different seasons of life. As teenagers (and sometimes into early adulthood) children often view themselves as much wiser and more intelligent than their aging parents. But as they move into adulthood and begin to age themselves, they begin to see the wisdom in those same parents (or at least we hope that they do). Solomon is prompting his son to accept his teachings, as they will go a long way in keeping him from harm, pain, and ruin.

Secondly, he indicates that he has indeed directed his son in the way that he should go. Solomon, like other father’s, imparted to his son wisdom and direction. Like the theme of the entire book of Proverbs, wisdom is at the forefront of this father’s teachings. Today, we tragically see parents abdicating their responsibility of spiritually raising their children, at best, handing it over to the church. While the church has a role to play in the development of believers, it was never God’s intention that this responsibility be solely placed on the church. Parents are to instruct their own children in the ways of God. Solomon encourages his son to accept his teachings, reminding him of the instruction that he has invested in his life.

Lastly, he states that he has, “led him in upright paths.” I believe this refers to the example that Solomon set for his son. It is one thing to teach our children, it is entirely another to live out that example in front of them. “Do as I say, not as I do” isn’t a practical model if we are serious about spiritually protecting our children. Instruction must be coupled with example. We all fail at various times in our lives, but even in these moments of falling short, there are teachable instances to be seized.

The idea of instructing our children in spiritual matters goes all the way back to the people of Israel. Consider the following: 

Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

                                                                                                       Deuteronomy 6:4-9 

The first of these instructions was to recognize that there is a God and that there is only one God. The second is that we are to love him with our entire being. You don’t have to teach children evil, that tendency is already a part of their fallen nature. Likewise, you don’t have to teach a child how to lie or cheat or be dishonest; they come by that naturally. But you do have to teach them how to be truthful, how to play fairly, and how to have integrity. Teaching a child to love the Lord is the foundation for all of those things since God is the basis for that standard of living in the first place.

In addition, the people of Israel were to teach their children and talk to them about spiritual matters on every occasion. They bound scripture on their foreheads (they were called phylacteries). A modern day example might be the wearing of a T-shirt or wristband with a scriptural reminder. They were to write these truths in their homes. Again, a modern equivalent might be posting scripture on the refrigerator or as plaques or wall hangings. The theme was that God should be on the hearts and minds of the people day and night. Contrast that to today.

As Christians, we should be following the same example set by Israel as we instruct our children about the love of God, the provision of Christ, and the way in which we should live our lives. But there seems to have been a shift. Parents do not seem to be raising the mantle of Christian leadership in their homes anymore. We seem to have replaced this responsibility with that of worldly pursuits. We encourage our children to do well, but often we find that we have adopted the world’s view of success instead of adhering to a godly one. Perhaps our children receive that scholarship, get that degree, have a successful career, or make a lot of money. All of these things are worth celebrating, but if they have all of this and yet do not know the Lord, it truly is all in vain. As parents, the one thing that we should make priority one in the raising of our children is teaching them to love and follow the Lord. If we fail to do that, we really have robbed them of the very foundation of life.

As I write this, I can’t help but think about my own life and reflect back to when I was younger. There was a season in my life in which my Christian parents probably believed that they had failed. Like the prodigal in the parable, I too went to my distant country. But likewise, as the wayward child came home, so did I. And just like the prodigal, I found the very same response from God: the robe, the ring, the sandals, and the fatted calf. Yes, not only was I received back into my Father’s house, I was given a ministry, an opportunity to guide others in the truths of scripture. What my parents might have viewed as failure was really not. The foundation that they had laid through their consistent example of faith served me well and brought me safely home.

Are you instructing your children in the ways of God? Are you living out your faith as an example to them and the rest of your family? Is being a Christ follower really priority one in your home or are you chasing all of the things that the world has to offer?

Christian parents: stay consistent and never give up! What may seem like spiritual failure may just be time spent in a distant country. Be faithful and keep your eye on the horizon. That figure you see walking in the distance just might be your prodigal!

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. 

                                                                                                3 John 4