Then Peter came and said to Him (Jesus), “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” 

Matthew 10:21-22

We all know that we need to do it. Yet, our depravity keeps it from freely flowing in our lives. Most of us are willing but perhaps selective in how we disperse it. And when we withhold it, we are the ones who suffer. It’s forgiveness and it is absolutely necessary if we are going to be restored and thrive in our walk with Christ. There are three (3) avenues in which forgiveness can flow through our lives. We can receive forgiveness from God, we can forgive others and receive forgiveness from them, and we can forgive ourselves. We’ll begin with the last which is usually the most challenging. 

For whatever reason, forgiving ourselves can often be the largest hurdle in being completely and effectively restored. Of course, there are people in the world who simply don’t care how their actions affect other people thus they never feel that they are in need of forgiving themselves. But that most likely doesn’t represent the way that you feel and probably doesn’t align with most of the people that you know…at least we’ll make that assumption for the purposes of discussing forgiveness. 

So why, if we receive forgiveness from God and even have the blessing from the offended party, do we sometime still live with guilt over a bad and sinful decision? Perhaps, it is the activity of the enemy (1 Peter 5:8). Knowing that forgiveness is a key component to full, spiritual restoration, the enemy can often sow seeds of doubt regarding the forgiveness of God. In other words, if he can get us to believe that God is holding a grudge, even in the face of the offended party moving on from the offense, it makes it a lot more difficult for us to completely forgive ourselves. While this is the third of the three (3) ways that we can experience forgiveness, and certainly should not be placed as a greater priority than the first two, it can be the area in which the enemy seeks to place blame and keep us in a state of flux regarding our ability to forgive ourselves. While forgiveness from God is based on His promise-keeping nature and forgiveness from others can be measured by their response to us after an offense, forgiving ourselves is an inward challenge and must be met by fierce determination and prayer. And if the offense was a life-changing decision, we simply can’t stay in the place where we took the “spiritual detour.” The important part is to take the “on ramp” back to where God intends for us to be. God provides this for anyone who is sincerely and humbly seeking restoration of mind, body, and soul. 

So, let’s look at the concept of giving and receiving forgiveness from others. This is a tricky one, largely because we cannot control what other people believe, think, feel, or do. So, obviously, receiving forgiveness from others largely depends on their willingness to give that forgiveness to us. Of course, if they withhold it, it only serves as a means of keeping them in spiritual prison, greatly impacting their ability to grow, heal, and thrive in Christ, assuming they are a believer at all. But what we can focus on, in this area of forgiveness, is that of forgiving others. While we cannot control others, their behavior should not be a deciding factor as to whether we forgive or not. In today’s passage, Peter approaches Jesus with the question of how many times he should forgive another. Peter comes up with the number seven (7) as a template for righteous behavior in the area of forgiveness. Jesus counters Peter’s thinking with the correct answer, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” No, Jesus isn’t having a discussion with Peter about arithmetic nor is He suggesting that we only forgive people 490 times. What Jesus is telling Peter, and all of us as born again believers and fellow heirs with Christ, is that we are to forgive others as often as is necessary. That’s going to cause a reflex action with our flesh. “What? As often as is necessary? Well I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of me! I’m suppose to continue to let them harm, defraud, or take advantage of me over and over again?” Let’s pause for a moment. Jesus is not telling us to continue to let people abuse, harm, defraud, and take advantage of us over and over again as if it has never happened before. Jesus is addressing the issue of forgiving the person. So, while we are not to “throw our brain out the door” and “stick our heads in the sand” over people who continually offend over and over, we are to forgive them. Do you see the difference? One is putting up with a constant and continual offense, pretending that nothing is happening. That’s not responsible and, one could argue, not spiritually discerning, appropriate, or God-honoring. But while we take steps to safeguard ourselves and those we love against such offensive people, we can still forgive. One has to do with the practical side of living in a fallen world while the other has to do with guarding our hearts from developing bitterness…something, along with a refusal to forgive, that will bring us down spiritually. If we need a couple of reminders, from scripture, about this endless willingness to forgiving others and treat them in a God-honoring way, we need look no further than the following:

In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

    Matthew 7:12

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 

      Philippians 2:3-4

How practical and how simple to understand…Jesus gives us the remedy to much, if not all, of the conflict that arises between individuals, groups, and even nations. Just treat other people the way that you want them to treat you. If you wouldn’t want it done to you then don’t do it to anyone else. But our sin nature and depravity push us to rebel against such ideas. We simply don’t like this because it puts the priority on others and causes us to act in ways that our sin nature is not comfortable with at all. 

We can push that envelope even further in the passage from Paul in Philippians. “Regard one another as more important than yourselves” and “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Can we go ahead and acknowledge that we are going to need a resource beyond our own corruptible hearts in order to accomplish such living? Well, we have One who will move us into this kind of superior and uncommon living. It’s the Holy Spirit of God at work within all born again believers in Jesus. “Don’t try this at home,” as the TV ads say. We need not try this on our own…we will fail. We can only rise to this level of living if we have completely surrendered our lives to Christ and are now operating in the power of the Spirit within our hearts (Ephesians 3:20). 

So, let’s finish with the first and foremost form of forgiveness that must take place if we are going to appropriately respond to others and even ourselves. Before any of this can happen, we must be right with God and have settled all spiritual accounts. Yes, your eternal, spiritual account was settled at the cross but our day to day living depends on our being right with God each day. That’s why it is so important to remember two things…our salvation was secured the day we were saved. And, secondly, as born again believers in Jesus, God has removed our transgressions “as far as the east is from the west.” And every time that we come to Him with our failures, that relationship continues unfettered and unrestricted. Consider these two truths:

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

  Psalm 103:12

Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

        Acts 2:38

Forgiveness from God, a willingness to forgive others as many times as is necessary, and an ability to forgive ourselves…these are three (3) key attributes if we are going to continue to thrive in our walk with Christ!

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

        Matthew 6:14-15