Prayer is talking to God. Talking to God requires a relationship with Him. And because all relationships, earthly and heavenly, must be fostered and nurtured, there are numerous reasons why, from time to time, we might see a strain in our relationships with others, including God. So it would be impossible to outline every cause for a struggling prayer life, however, there are several biblical truths that we can use as guidance when it seems that God is silent and our requests go unanswered. If this sounds familiar, consider these four possibilities for why this could be happening.

Possibility #1: We Aren’t Asking

You do not have because you do not ask.

    James 4:2b

Talking to the Creator of the universe…that is exactly what every born again believer in Jesus Christ has the privilege of doing. We can talk to God about everything, at anytime, bringing all of our concerns and requests to Him. So imagine neglecting that amazing reality, abandoning it for a life of just trying to figure things out on our own. That is exactly what we are doing when we fail to ask. James tells us that this is one possibility for why we do not receive from the Lord. But failing to ask runs directly against what Jesus tells us. Consider His words:

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 

        Matthew 7:7-8

“Everyone who asks receives.” That is the declaration of Christ Himself. As believers, we should never be timid in our asking of God, approaching Him with confidence and boldness (Philippians 4:6-7, Hebrews 4:16). So if we are not receiving from God, we first need to check and see if we are actually asking.

Possibility #2: We Are Being Selfish In Our Asking

You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

        James 4:3

So what if we know that we have been asking God but still see no results from our prayers? James tells us to check and see if we are asking selfishly. 

Unfortunately, there are those who only approach God when they need something or when something has gone terribly wrong. In the lives of these people, as long as things are moving forward as planned, prayer and spending time with God is neglected. But when things go south, prayer often becomes the only thing left and is used as a possible “last resort.” 

As believers, that is not how we are to handle prayer. We should recognize the tremendous privilege that we have in accessing God and then respect that relationship by praying for things that will bring Him honor. When our prayer life becomes about us, our comfort, and our pleasure alone, we are “asking with wrong motives”, treating God as a “genie in a bottle.”  This is not the biblical model for prayer and one that we should be careful to avoid.

Possibility #3: We Are Not Asking In Faith

Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. 

    Mark 11:22b-24

Perhaps this is the most practical and important of the four possibilities. When we pray, Jesus says that we need to pray in faith. It begins with His declaration to “Have faith in God.” And as we place our trust in Him alone, we can then move to the principle that Jesus’ shares with us regarding the power of faith. He says that if we say to the mountain, “be taken up and cast into the sea” and do not doubt in our heart rather believe that what we say is going to happen, it will be granted to us. Two things always seem to come up when teaching on this passage.

First, we all have life experience and, if we’re not careful, that experience might cause us to doubt what Jesus is teaching us in this passage. The key is that we cannot “doubt in our heart.” Are we willing to admit that that is easier said than done? Most of us can probably point to a time when we have prayed for something specifically and the very opposite of what we were praying for happened. We must go back to Jesus’ declaration to “Have faith in God.” That means that when He decides not to give us the thing for which we are praying, it is because He has something better in mind. 

Secondly, we might hear the challenge that if Jesus were to give us what we request when we ask, that we would effectively be in control of the universe. This argument can easily be addressed by recognizing Jesus’ words, “it will be granted him/you.” Used twice in this passage, Jesus is reminding us that the answer still has to come through the hands of God Himself. God is not giving up control of the universe by granting us what we request in prayer. He is simply doing what He has promised…granting us our request. But even in the face of these two arguments, the principle remains. We are to pray in faith, believing, without any doubting in our heart. James reminds us that people who doubt are “unstable in all of their ways” (James 1:8). For us to have a healthy, stable, and effective prayer life, it must be accompanied by faith.

So Jesus moves from the principle of faith to stating that “all things for which we pray and ask, believing that we have received them and they will be granted you.” This is clear and direct instruction from our Savior. If we ignore, disbelieve, or neglect this amazing biblical truth, as James says, “we ought not to expect to receive anything from the Lord” (James 1:7).   

Possibility #4: We Are Withholding Forgiveness

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.

          Mark 11:25

So if we pass the test of asking, focusing on eternal, God-honoring things rather than selfish ones, and we truly believe that we are going to receive from God, yet still see no results, then we need to check one last possibility. Have we settled all accounts with others around us? Said another way, are we withholding forgiveness from someone who has injured or offended us?

Jesus tells us that when we are praying, we need to forgive if we have anything against anyone. This allows God to forgive us of our transgressions as well (Matthew 6:14-15). When we neglect or refuse to forgive others, we are effectively blocking the flow of God’s blessings from our lives. We cannot expect God to forgive us, bless us, and provide for us when we are unwilling to do the same for others. When God seems quiet and unresponsive to our cries, we need to examine our hearts to see that we are not withholding the forgiveness that someone else so desperately needs to receive from us. 

Acting On God’s Word

Jesus tells us that building our lives on a firm foundation requires hearing the Word of God and then acting on it (Matthew 7:24-27). Are you struggling with your prayer life? Does God seem quiet and are your prayers seemingly going unanswered? First, we need to see that we are asking of God as Jesus invites us to do (Matthew 7:7-8). Secondly, we need to have Christ-centered lives that desire the presence of God more than anything else that the world has to offer. This keeps us from asking with wrong motives and making prayer a means for selfish gain. Thirdly, we need to pray in faith. When we doubt the goodness of God or His willingness to answer us, we undermine the very life that we claim to be living, minimizing the power of prayer. And lastly, our relationships with others can either promote or hinder a healthy prayer life. Forgiveness must be given if we are to receive anything from the Lord. Let’s be a people who pray effectively, biblically, and powerfully as God continues to show Himself to be “able to do far more abundantly beyond anything we could ever ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20).