Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

                                                                                                                 Exodus 20:12 

To begin, I have to thank God for my parents. I realize that not everyone is as blessed as I to have two Christian parents who both set a great example of what it means to be a godly man and woman. Were my parents perfect? Of course not, but they consistently lived out their faith and made sure that I was exposed to the Gospel at an early age. In addition, my parents did not take an authoritarian position with the Christian faith. They simply set an example and provided my sister and I with a stable, loving, God-honoring home.

In spite of my rearing, there were times when my parents probably wondered their efforts had gone in vain. Much like the son in the parable, I too had my prodigal years. But because of the grace of God, my relationship with Jesus, and the influence of my parents, I would like to think that I am now in a position to honor them.

This is what the fifth commandment is all about. Whether our parents are living or have already passed, we can still honor our parents by living godly lives. The remainder of the commandments (5-10), deal with our relationships with others and it begins with the family. Consider Paul’s instructions to children: 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

                                                                                                             Ephesians 6:1-3 

In this declaration, Paul quotes the fifth commandment. This commandment also carries with it a promise. Using slightly different language from the original, the promise is twofold, “So that it may be well with you” and “That you may live long on the earth.” Obeying parents brings blessings from God. As children, we are to be obedient to our parents and when we become adults, we are to honor them. In other words, this instruction from Paul, combined with the commandment, gives us a pattern of living that should last throughout our lifetime.

Most social problems that we encounter in our modern culture can be traced back to the family. When the family unit is in distress, the natural outcome are people who lack respect for God, parents, teachers, law enforcement officers, or anyone in a position of authority. That is why I believe that this commandment has far reaching effects in society.

Consider Paul’s next statement: 

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

                                                                                                                 Ephesians 6:4 

In addition to instructions for the children, parents are also given biblical directives. Notice that the declaration is aimed at the fathers. This does not diminish the importance of the mother’s role in raising children just a reminder that the role of the father is paramount.

Christian parents are not to “provoke their children to anger.” Inciting our children to become angry is not an effective tactic in parenting. Yelling and screaming generally do not offer the parent an opportunity to establish a solid foundation for the child. Rather, we are to raise them “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In other words, we are to teach our children and we should do so from a biblical, God-honoring, and gospel-centered way.

When it comes to parenting and raising our children to love the Lord, the example we set will be what carries the most weight with the child. In other words, if being a Christ follower is not a priority in our life, we should not expect it to become a priority for our children. It is impossible for us to give away something that we do not possess ourselves.

Regardless of whether or not we were raised in a Christian home, we can still honor our parents by living godly, Christ-centered lives. After all, the most important thing anyone can do is to receive the gift of salvation offered to us through faith in Jesus Christ (Romans 6:23). Being a Christian is indeed the very best way to honor our parents.