Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

                                                                                                           Ephesians 4:29

There is tremendous power in the words that we use. We can use our tongues for good or for evil. The words we use really do give away what is in our hearts. Today, Paul puts an emphasis on behavior not becoming of a born again believer in Jesus Christ. 

Paul instructs us to avoid using “unwholesome” words. A cursory reading of this passage may lead someone to think that Paul is referring to “foul language.” While I would agree that Christians should avoid using foul language that is not at all what Paul is referring to in this passage. The word “unwholesome” can be defined as rotten, putrid, and worthless. Consider your plans for dinner. You purchase some fresh, frozen meat that you are looking forward to preparing. You set it out so that it can thaw, but something comes up and your plans quickly change. With this change of plans, you forget all about the meat that you were going to eat for dinner. You don’t realize that you have left it out until a week later. The meat has now moved from being edible to altogether rotten and putrid. It is good for nothing but to be thrown into the garbage. While that may not be the most pleasant of analogies, it properly grasps what Paul means when he says to avoid “unwholesome” words. When we speak to others, especially fellow believers, rotten and putrid words have no place in the conversation. But just like scripture so often does, we are not only instructed on what to avoid rather we are given a description of what our words should be.

Paul says that we should use words that are good for edification. This is a fancy word that can be defined as “building up.” In other words, we should speak in a constructive way, not a destructive one. This constructive speech is for the purpose of seeing the spiritual growth of others. When you analyze the reasons behind our words, you just might discover that most (if not all) destructive speaking is based in selfishness and our own desires. When things don’t go the way we want or think they should, negative words can begin to fly from our mouths. Think of the last time you used non-edifying words and weigh the reasons for your word choice. Likewise, when we act out of love and concern for the benefit of others, we are more likely to use edifying words. Paul finishes his thought by telling us why we should choose edifying over unwholesome words.

Our words should meet needs. This is what we will call “grace” speaking. “But only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Grace is the undeserved, unmerited favor of God. When we experience grace, we are receiving God’s best and it is in spite of our frailty and failings. When we speak to others, our words should express this same type of attitude. Grace words are those that afford joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness, good will, and increase faith. It’s quite obvious that people desire to be around grace speakers while avoiding those that do not. If we are to accurately portray what the love of God in Christ is like, we must measure our words carefully. Neglecting to do so can do nothing but hinder the proclamation of the gospel. But Paul doesn’t end there. In this same passage, he addresses the root of the problem in any life, our hearts. What is in our hearts will most likely drive what comes out of our mouths. Consider the following:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 

                                                                                                           Ephesians 4:31

When we carry “baggage” from our past, it can fester into a root of bitterness. This bitterness, if left unchecked, can lead to the other attitudes on this list. Wrath, anger, and clamor (which is fighting with others) all come from a root of bitterness over wrongs committed against us. Along with these ungodly attitudes, Paul mentions slander, another misuse of our tongues. He sums up these “heart” attitudes with malice, which is to plan and scheme to do evil to another. Again, a heart that carries these attitudes is more likely to result in a mouth that utters the same.

I do not believe that it is a coincidence that sandwiched between Paul’s instruction on our words and his comments about the attitudes of our hearts, we find a profound and powerful statement about what can result. Consider the following:

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

                                                                                                Ephesians 4:30 

To begin, yes, we can grieve God. To grieve the Holy Spirit is to grieve God. Our words and the attitudes of our hearts can act to stifle the activity of God in our lives. When we speak, we are either inviting Him to do remarkable things in our lives or we are falling into the trap of choking out this activity. When this type of thinking goes unchecked in the life of a believer, it can render the Christian unhappy and ineffective.

I believe that we need to do an honest assessment of our words and see if they are reflecting the types of attitudes that should be coming from the life of a believer. When others around us reject our very words, are we willing to admit that it might be due to a lack of “grace speaking?” Perhaps the problem is not with those that we are attempting to reach rather it is in our inward attitudes. While these attitudes can remain firmly and secretly in our hearts, our words tend to give us away. Let’s examine our hearts. If healing needs to take place, because there really is no healing apart from Christ, allow the grace of God to act as therapeutic balm to your heart and soul. Then let’s measure our words in order to ensure that we are accurately portraying a loving, gracious, and merciful God!

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

                                                                                                   Ephesians 4:32